We had so much fun roller skating the other night! The twins had a blast! Graci didn’t stop skating the whole night. Lijah had a lot of fun but then got distracted by the arcade games for a bit and then was done skating for the night. Mady and Lily loved it too especially spending time with their parents. Lily, after we got home, kept asking me if I had fun because she had a ton of fun.
We all can’t wait to go again!!
To my first born, my oldest son…
Looking back on our life together and seeing how I mother your youngest siblings, I feel like I have failed you… well, not failed, but just could have done better. I was so focused on myself that I missed the mark when it came to being a mom. I was so worried about making others happy- your dad, your mawmaw, your grami… that I didn’t focus on your happiness as much as I should have. I should have spent more time with YOU. Had more one-on-one time with YOU. You were a strong-willed child and at times, I didn’t know how to parent. I did the best I could with what I knew, what I was being told, and what I thought was best. I often wonder if it was right.
I don’t know how your life would have turned out, if I had made different choices. I don’t know if it would have been better or worse? I guess that is one thing only God knows.
I love you so much son. I so wish we were closer. I wish you would open up and share things with me. I wish you felt like you could come to me and tell me anything. I am sorry for whatever I did, or said, or acted that made you feel you couldn’t. I wish you could think of me as your best friend, because I am. I am always there for you, even if you don’t so what I think is best, I am still here for you and will support you to the best of my abilities. I know its awkward talking with me, hanging out with me… that is one area we are so much alike… if we have nothing to say… we don’t. But you know what… that is okay. I am fine with just sitting in silence with you.
I hope one day that you will feel that you can come to me. I hope that when you are happy, sad, hurt, angry, whatever it is… you know that I am always here for you. I will always have a shoulder for you to cry on, arms to hold you close, and words to tell you that I love you.
I am so proud of the man you have become. You are stronger than you realize. You have more motivation and determination in your life right now than most people your age- or honestly than you ever have had before. I am proud of you for that. There is not a day that goes by that I think about something you said, or did and think… wow!!! that is my kid.
I love you son!
There is never a dull moment around here.
For the past few weeks our little #Madybear14 had been complaining of stomach pains. She would lay down and then a bit later would be back up playing like everything is fine. I didn’t think too much of it at the time, just figured maybe she had an allergy to food or something just didn’t sit right.
Then she was complaining at school that her stomach hurt her and she had to come home. Madybear loves school and wants to be there so at that point I figured I better make an appt with her pediatrician and get things checked out. I had the appt for the following Tuesday.
Tuesday came and that morning she was vomiting a few times in the early am. No fever, but she was complaining all night that her stomach hurt really really bad. We made it through the night and I take her into her doc appt. At the window I mentioned to the nurse that her stomach was still hurting really bad and she had throw up over night. The doctor refused to see us. They said IF we thought it warrented it, we could take her to the er or urgent care. So off to urgent care we went. I was furious!!!
We got to Urgent Care and with in 15mins of being seen the doctor said she wanted us to go to the emergency room. She thought that she had an appendisitis. So off to the ER we went.
Get to the ER and they were absolutely amazing there. We went to Cleveland Clinic and I can not say enough about how amazing they were. After testing and ultrasound it was determined she needed to have her appendix removed.
She had surgery around 730pm. Her appendix had burst in two at some point and had started to heal itself in 2 seperate pieces. They removed both pieces and also all the infection that was caused.
She ended up spending 5more days in the hospital to make sure all the infection has been removed and there was no more issues.
We went for a follow up Tuesday and everything looks great!!
She is cleared for normal life!!
My little LilyBee is officially ONE years old! Its crazy to see how quick time flies!!!
She is such a sweet little baby girl!!
She is crawling and pulling her self to stand up on anything she can.
She can climb in and out of her highschair that sits on the floor.
She has two bottom teeth.
She says Hi to anyone and everyone she can.
She is totally a mamas girl!
She loves to eat and will throw a fit when she is all done or out of food!
She drinks from a sippy cup.
She loves to steal her big sissy’s binky… and her big sissy loves to steal it right back.
She loves our doggies.
She is known as baby to her first big sissy mady (who is almost 2)
She goes today for her One year well child visit!
Blessings N LoveOverthinking Mama
Dear Samipooh!
First and foremost I want to tell you how much I love you.
You have been our daughter for almost two years now. Wow. crazy that its only been that long. I feel like you have always been here, that you have always been part of our family-that you have always been our daughter.
We have had some ups and downs and even though there I days I feel like I want to pull my hair out or just crawl into a corner and bawl my eyes out like a little baby, I would’t trade any of it for the world.
You are such a bright sweet and beautiful little girl. I don’t know the extent of everything that you have gone through before you came to be our daughter and I hate that you had to go through any of that or had to be taken away from your mom, but I am thankful that I now get to be your mom.
The past couple years that you have been with us have been amazing! I have watched you grow up in so many ways. I am so thankful to be your mom.
I love you!
Your Mama!
Dear Baby Girl.You are growing up so fast!! It been forever since I’ve wrote anything to you… You are a little princess… and a drama queen!! OMG!!
You tell everyone when you grow up you want to be a Mommy. You want to have 3 kids… 2 girls and a boy… Kyanna, Susie, and Bryce. Lol. I have no idea where you got any of those names from… I don’t know anyone with those names!! You def. have your own personality and your own ideas on life.
You love your brother so much… and he loves you too. You want to be just like him in so many ways… and love wrestling with him on the floor… and its funny cuz you will pin him!!
I feel so bad for you at times tho… when you tell me things like you miss your daddy or you tell someone that your daddy doesn’t want to see you.. I wish you didn’t feel that way… and I wish he came around more. I promise you sweetie… It has nothing to do with you… its just the way your daddy is. And as much as I wish at times I had never met your father… I couldn’t be happier about it because I have you in my life. You and your brother are my world!! I couldn’t live my world with out either of you… I am going to go to court and get your last name changed… You don’t know your last name… it doesn’t have any meaning to you. You don’t know that family. You have only met you Grandmother and the family in North Carolina one time… and it was because I took you to go see them. If it wasn’t for me… you probably wouldn’t know them at all. But other than that… you don’t know your family so why should you have a family name…that is meaningless to you?! I want you to have my last name… You know me.. I am always there for you and I always will be.
You have such a great imagination and have such an artistic talent… its crazy!! You love to draw and to sing… at any given time you are doing one or the other! For your birthday you asked for a guitar from grammy- tho you didn’t get it until Christmas… but you love that guitar!! You have your own senxe of style too… and on non-school days, I let you pick out your own outfits… and its def. different… dresses with skirts under neither… pink heart polka dotted pants with a brown star polka dotted skirt and a inside out green shirt and pink cowboy boots… you love your cowboy boots!! J
I love you so much baby girl… you and your brother complete my life.
God Bless You
Love- Mommy
Dear My Lil Man,
Well I went onto your Teacher’s website today to see if there was anything new.. He had put on there that 13 kids got in trouble. I automatically assumed it was you. I am sorry. I am glad I called you first to see before I emailed him regarding. I just know sometimes you can get easily distracted. Last week you got into a “fight” with an older kid at school. He tripped you, you tackled him. You got a detention for it. You were so worried when you came home though if you were going to get in trouble for it. I didn’t answer you about it, because honestly I didn’t know what to say. One hand I didn’t want to punish you. You stood up for yourself, and I was proud of you for that. On the other hand, I didn’t want you to think it was ok to go and get into fights. So I just let it be.I love you so much Lil Man. You were my first born. You will always be my baby no matter how old you get.You seem to have so much anger in you. Towards what I don’t know, but it scares me sometimes. You need an outlet for your anger and I don’t know how to help you with that. I know I’ve been told I am too hard on you and also that I need to be harder on you. I don’t know. It seems like the only time we really get to spend together all I am doing is yelling at you. I mentioned that to you this morning and you said. Well don’t yell at me. I don’t yell at you cuz I like it or I want to. I do it so you will learn. I don’t want you to become a “bad” kid. I don’t want the kid that is always in trouble and ends up in jail someday. You are better than that!!I know you hate me because I make you go over to your dads, but someday you will thank me for that. You need that relationship with your dad. And as you get older I hope that you and him will get closer. He will always be your daddy. You had to take the OAT the other day.. you scored advanced in Reading. I was so proud of you. I hope you know that I am.You also want to start making Videos to put on-line. I really hope that you do that. You are so funny and clever sometimes… you make me laugh even when I so sooo angry. I love that about you even tho it is sooo annoying. I love you lil man… no longer my baby boy…LoveMommy
Overthinking Mama 