In my previous post- you got to see how my 2021 was. While overall not horrible and really neither was 2020… it just seemed like it was one thing after another after another…
January I finally went to the doc after about a month of not feeling great and horrible sore throats… found out I had strep the whole time!
February my daughter’s two chinchillas passed away. She was heartbroken.
March comes along and I get laid off of work for quarantine/covid.
I started back to work at the end of April beginning of May. Trying to juggle working again, and being a “homeschool” mom along with everything else that I have to do became very overwhelming. So overwhelming to the point that if I didn’t have my kids, husband, and family, I probably would have tried to end my life. I just felt like I can’t handle it all. I talked with my husband and my doctor and go put on new meds. (Honestly being in quarantine during covid was the best thing that happened all year for me – besides finding out I was prego).
July came and my brother was admitted to the hospital. Looking back now- the whole thing was a blur. He was in the hospital for a little over a week. He was finally discharged and then readmitted a few weeks later.
While my brother was in the hospital my son OD’d on acid. I had to call the police and ambulance on him because I couldn’t help him nor control him during this. This broke my soul. And honestly, there is not a day that goes by that I remember that night perfectly. Every time I hear certain sounds or see certain things- it takes me right back to that moment. I can’t even explain what that night did to me mentally and emotionally. At one point during that episode my son tried to run out of the house and I had to block the door so he didn’t because I knew how dangerous that could be for him and for anyone he may encounter outside of the house. As I was blocking the door from him- he drop-kicked my leg and my knee gave out. Thank goodness my husband was there to wrestle him to the ground and hold him there until the police arrived to put him in handcuffs and get him on the ambulance to go to the hospital till he sobered up till morning.
The next morning I went to urgent care because I couldn’t walk. Nothing was broken luckily but I was very sore and couldn’t put any weight on that knee. (still to this day I have issues if I walk/move a certain way)
August, I found out I was pregnant. I was super excited. As soon as I found out though it was like a switch went off and I instantly had morning sickness. Out of all of my kids, this was the worst. I could barely function because I constantly wanted to vomit but never could. I finally got put on meds and it helped so much!
September I started bleeding and just knew I was having a miscarriage. I dropped my daughter off at school (all while trying not to sob because I didn’t want her to know anything- and I am an idiot because she obviously did)and headed straight up to the ER with my husband. They weren’t going to let him in with me because of covid restrictions and I freaked out a little bit and told them that I was having a miscarriage and I needed him there, so they let him come back. I had an ultrasound and blood work done and the doc comes back and in and was like “did you know you weren’t having twins??” then goes on to talk about twins and pregnancy and all of that. I am bawling my eyes out because now I am thinking I just miscarried twins!!! And then the doc was like “they both have heartbeats”. I just started laughing. I was so so so happy! I called my midwife once I was discharged to let them know what was going on and once I told them it was twins, they let me know that I am considered high risk and that they can no longer have me as a patient. So I had to find a new doc. Which I did.
During this time I had a follow-up ultrasound done because the US tech at the hospital saw something they didn’t think was just right… With baby B the gap between the base of the neck and the lining of the sac was bigger than it is supposed to be. With the gap the size that it is, there is a 50% chance that there could be something wrong. Luckily a few weeks later I got the test results for the blood work and everything turned out ok with that. There were a few other tests that I needed to do, but in the end, everything turned out perfect!!
November came along and Mady had to have emergency surgery for a burst appendix. She was in the hospital for almost a week with that.
During the next months other than the whole pregnancy things… everything was ok other than our two cats passed away. One from old age and the other was hit by a car. Oh and the day after Christmas, I found out I had covid- so you know that just ended the year perfectly!
So Yea… that was my 2020.
Overthinking Mama 